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Thick Skin Warmth

This poem “Thick Skin Warmth” is in a sense,  a double entendre. There are two interpretations that I want people to take in from the title and the content. I wanted to personally address how circumstances in my life, forced me to grow a thick skin and contributed to my sometimes hardened heart. I also wanted to address the literal meaning of thick skin, in terms of the weight problems I’ve had with my “big-boned” figure. ( As Caribbean would put it.)  Growing up, I sometimes had aspirations to be somebody-else  or to be treated differently. This poem is a tribute to not only my former self and to the woman I’ve become, but to many others who may have had a rough childhood, difficulty  finding their identity,  have been overlooked, have had weight issues etc.. but despite any odds or doubts, have come out better people because of it. If not for what I had gone through I couldn’t have written this and I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to connect with others who can look back to their past and find the cracks of light that built their spirit of resilience. All things considered, I have the maturity to love all of who I was,  the confidence to love who I am, and the faith to love who I will become.

There is always a spin of positivity for any adversity you face. For me it was that, more thick skin = more warmth.

 

 

Thick Skin Warmth

I have memories in the thick skin I grew
And for a child with big bones
I would chew words
Thrown across dinner tables
Like bread rolls and dull swords headed for destruction in war quarters
I fought soldiers of enemy blood
Camouflaged in family love
Giving harsh hugs
Sharing hushed laughs
Wishing silent good lucks
Then a child grows up
Hoping the thick skin would shed itself off
Toasting the New Years with resolutions
For light pounds
Ground heights to look tall
Light skin to suit stars
Bright mind to pass college and make mama proud
I found self in the dark clouds
Searching for a way out
To skip towns
And drift to sleep with no sound
Of echoing dreams failed
Dropped down to level man’s esteem
Of a woman with thick brows
Big shoulders to rip through a double small
Tom boy with a jean jacket bending gender bounds
Oblivious to gender nouns
Little child
With thick skin
Protecting others from her bitter vowels
A and E
WE owe you for breaking promises
Not keeping us as hostages
Remaining fatherless saved the spirit of this optimist
If I didn’t die by this
Trust I won’t hold on to it
This skin grew thick
My mind grew to compensate
Faith knew he’d be the one
To help thick skin love
Whoever thick skins does
Will love her back
and feel the thick skin warmth

Scribe

Passion Feature

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Armed with an arsenal of passion, pain and a pen, Scribe is a vivid storyteller through the arts of Hip-Hop & Spoken Word. His sharp lyricism and bold presence give his audience a clear picture of the world through his eyes when he takes the stage. The Toronto native is one third of the Spoken Word collective ‘The Uncharted’ and an innovative Arts Educator/Youth Mentor. While performing for humble crowds of 20 in bars to upwards of 3000 opening for The Roots, the Emcee/Poet brings the same electric vibe to every show. As a performer, Scribe always leaves the place with more energy than when he stepped in. As a mentor, he invests time in aiding students in the process of discovering and developing their individual voices.

If I had tips for anyone out there pursuing their passion, it would be to humble themselves and find a mentor already doing what you want to be doing, or who is in a position to help you grow. I’ve worked under the guidance of two of the city’s best in Spoken Word (Dwayne Morgan & Patrick DeBelen) and all aspects of my artistic career have shown drastic improvement from when Patrick brought me out to my first poetry slam 4 years ago. To encourage anyone chasing their passions, as long as you are willing to sweat, cry & truly give your all to make a dream happen, it is possible. I am nowhere near my goals in terms of my artistry. I still work a part time job aggressively to pay my bills when gigs don’t pull in the money I need. That being said I am always putting in work, always ready to hop on a stage & do my thing, always practicing my craft and always making the sacrifices necessary to live a good life while pursuing my dream of being a full time artist. It is not impossible. It is very difficult. But none of that will matter if you dedicate yourself fully to being excellent at what you do & being an excellent person to work alongside.

Album: ORIGINS thisisscribe.bandcamp.com

@ThisIsScribe

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1.1.Six

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.

Romans 1:16 (VOICE)

For I am not the least bit embarrassed about the gospel. I won’t shy away from it, because it is God’s power to save every person who believes: first the Jew, and then the non-Jew.

In many of my poems you can search out a lot of “religious or spiritual” verses that sneakily or not so sneakily creep up, and the reason for that is because I am a Christian. Sometimes when I write, I hold back a lot of my religious freedom to express my faith and how I feel about Christianity, God and the Bible. I feel like I put a God count for how many times  I can mention His name, Christianity or faith in my poems without feeling uneasy for the person who will later read or listen to it. There’s a part of me that wants my poetry to be easily swallowed by everybody, which leads to me censor out my beliefs sometimes. I’m not saying I’m not honest in my poetry already but, there’s more I could be doing or saying to fully express all of me and what I believe. I’m not ashamed of the God I serve, I’m not scared of how you will feel or react to hearing that I love God and how much he loves me and all that he’s been doing in my life. I should say I’m not anymore, I’ve come to acknowledge that I have a “call” to answer, or a population to reach with what I do and it’s time I recognized that I’m equipped enough to do it. As a Christian, I can honestly say that I want this life of  knowing God for every person I know now and will come to know. This realization stemmed one night when I was reading the bible and in Romans I read that people who have not heard about Christ will not be judged for rejecting Him but, those who have are without an excuse. Personally, I would love to leave people without the excuse to reject Him and that starts with me first letting them hear. I never really wanted to be labelled a Christian spoken word aritst but the reality is that I am a Christian who writes poetry, and with that comes an obligation.

I already have Christian-related poems lined up to post and I’m sure I will have more to post in the future. For the moment, enjoy this short excerpt from one of my poems “His Interest”.

This poem was inspired from a quote in a sermon I once heard.

“God is not interested in your lifestyle or sin, he’s interested in your heart” – Caleb Davidson

For starters there’s no need to get defensive
This isn’t an attack on your stances
This isn’t your religious check up
or renewal for a subscription of Jehovah’s witnesses pamphlets
I want to understand the opposition
and show you how to take Jesus out of tradition
and present to you a simpler illustration
Because at the moment
you think it’s only about commandments, fear and temptations
and neglect to see His grace, love, and patience
You want to blame Him for your sickness, hatred and heartache
When you won’t pray, praise and partake in repentance
You want to believe that God is dead so that you can live guilt-free
Without the slightest inclination
that maybe something out there is pulling the strings
But I think all together you’ve envisioned a religion
and put God at a distance
It’s not all about what your latest sin is
It’s not heaven’s hottest topic,
and angels don’t tune in for a Sinflix binge
You are one of God’s children and he’s only waiting for you to let him in