I think everyone comes to a point where they start to fall into the clichés. We all think we’re above them, that they’ll never affect us and that we don’t need anybody or any help. ( the “I can do bad all by myself” attitude). That’s a pretty unauthentic way to live but, there isn’t anybody that can stop you from feeling or thinking that way but you. You may have the high whiny nagging voice in your head saying I don’t have a talent, nobody will like me, I have no purpose, somebody out there is better than me at doing yada yada. But sure, why not think all of those things. Especially if you haven’t tried and especially because we have 9 lives to live and we have all the time in the world to wallow in our self-pity. Wrong “ain’t nobody got time for that”. I’m just tired of us individuals thinking we’re all original strugglers, like nobody before us was ever confused about life, or wondered of their purpose and talents, who failed, who cut themselves off from the world, became “cold-hearted”, who weren’t considered normal, who coloured outside of the box, who were ostracized, who were broke and tired. None one of those things matter in terms of you reaching success unless you make them matter. You can stay sad and broke all you like but until you find out that the real riches on this earth cannot be accessed through your bank account, you’re going to have a rough time finding the gold in your dirt.
This is the first poem I fully finished and performed. It was for a black history month assembly at my high school when I was in grade 11. I performed it at school and at a church.
Refuse to just exist
I refrain from living in bondage
But I’m breathing in these daily fumes of discouragement and disappointment
And my lungs keep gasping
Waiting for relief to breathe normally
But my heart’s giving to many second chances
It’s to late to finally live when I’m buried in a casket
Still begging and asking
God what have I done to deserve this predicament
But I’m still too focused on this life that I’m comfortably sitting in