This is the first poem I fully finished and performed. It was for a black history month assembly at my high school when I was in grade 11. I performed it at school and at a church.

Refuse to just exist

I refrain from living in bondage

But I’m breathing in these daily fumes of discouragement and disappointment

And my lungs keep gasping

Waiting for relief to breathe normally

But my heart’s giving to many second chances

It’s to late to finally live when I’m buried in a casket

Still begging and asking

God what have I done to deserve this predicament

But I’m still too focused on this life that I’m comfortably sitting in

The kinks in my neck, the wounds on my ankles, the blood stencils on my skin seeping from punctured veins are no longer are an issue

These weights that I pull become recognized as a part of my body tissues

I carry family history that should’ve been buried

The problems resurface

But my body is still too weary

I’m thinking of my future plans of being married, the university courses that may vary

The reoccurring thoughts to just leave a path behind are sometimes to tempting to be denied

I want to be guided but the path laid ahead is lead by a family of blind sighted

I feel buried by expectations, the tides are rising and my soul is dying in attempts to find guidance

But the attention is not sufficing

Dig me out of this hole layer by layer

I’m hallucinating being buried alive by delusions of my failures

Forgetting that he gives me this life that is perfectly tailored

Even if I wanted to escape I remember this feeling is a favour

Every day I consider this labour but maybe this is a price I’ll pay to later be catered to

They may tell us that this world comes at a price

That the colour of my skin means that I’ll be subject to misjudgment

That through the advances in woman’s rights I will still suffer and have to fight

The point of us evolving is to eradicate inequalities

But we stay buried by the same stereotypical stereotypes

Of how our race is inferior to whites

And all I hear are taunts for me to give up and not to fight

We hear about protests and marches and spoken word artists who preach to congregations about the doubts of our nation

The temptation is bracing but still we stand confidently awaiting for change to happen without a direct association

We ourselves are free but still living like we’re indited

supervising manifestations by tithing but forgetting the small factors that matter

The chains keeping us captive are just an imagination

I stay buried

Buried by the cries of our youth seeking to be heard

They’re too young to have their young mind shrunken by drugs in their blood lines

The wars and brawls endanger these populations of young children

They’re too young too see wounds where the bullets penetrated

The enforced intrusions by their own father

Leading them to be highschool drop out drug addicts dealing drugs to younger addicts

They’re too young to be influenced by cursing fools uttering cold words to reach their chest

They receive repeated lashes on backs that hurt less than a cold shoulder given when they give life their best

Mothers watch their sons rape another man’s daughter kill a different brother then die before their 20th birthday comes along because they’re caught in cross fire

When the wounds heal they’re left with scarred memories

Still cuffed by the ropes that dragged the slave ancestors

The difference is we have an option but this is the generation

Where we strive to be the followers

We’re always boasting and bragging about our minds that stay lagging

Buried by our thoughts but never take any action

These excuses are made so that we can achieve satisfaction

But when will it be the time when we can aim for excellence

Not be ashamed for our hidden intelligence

And not pursue for common acceptance

I will not remain buried

My passage will clear because God shows me each and everyday that he hears us

Our buried life is the lifestyle we’ve chosen to live in

Settling in bondage and captivity

When there are greater achievements to be achieved, from hidden talents to prodigies

Choose that lifestyle where you can be free

You only have 3 options

To die, to exist and to live.